“I’m fine” says the 20 year old girl who hasn’t slept properly in three weeks. She’s fine because that’s the only response in a world where if you’re not perfect, you’re not worth being friends with, not worth being desired, not worth even the smallest thing in the world.
At 2am, she lies in bed, staring at the feed on her phone. She’s already scrolled past three reels about “doing it scared”, saved a reel on breathing exercises, and is laughing at a meme that had some wordplay on panic attacks and super attacks. Her room is quiet but her heart isn’t. Outside she’s normal, inside, it’s getting worse each day. But hey, one more reel should fix it.
Welcome to Gen Z’s hidden reality: anxiety dressed in aesthetics.
So What is Anxiety?
According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” It’s our brain’s way of responding to perceived danger; whether that danger is real, imagined, or anticipated.
But what is Anxiety, really?
What this popular definition, and most outsider understandings of anxiety fail to capture, is how often the source of this danger, and thus the source of the anxiety, is not always clear.
Anxiety for people can sometimes mean waking up first thing in the morning with a tightness in your chest or a pounding of the heart. It could mean laying in bed at night worried about that get-together tomorrow, even though you’ve met those friends about five dozen times before. It’s your breath getting shallow at not getting a response on your whatsapp message 15 minutes after sending it.
And those are not even the only ways anxiety manifests. Anxiety is the sweat on your palms every time you sit around your team at the office. Anxiety is the irritable, annoyed responses you give to even the slightest negative suggestion or situation. Anxiety is even the student that always shows up early to the class, even though it’s well known that everyone else comes 20 minutes late.
Anxiety manifests in many ways through many aspects of our being, hindering our lives or making it difficult in ways that people unfamiliar are often never able to notice or realize.
What Anxiety is to Gen Z
Anxiety isn’t rare among Gen Z, in fact quite the opposite. It’s practically one of the defining traits of the generation.
A 2024 report states that 61% of Gen Z individuals have been medically diagnosed with an anxiety condition. This figure is nearly double the rate reported of older generations. The story is not much different if we talk of Pakistan specifically, where although research is still lacking, experts still estimate a sharp rise in stress and anxiety related disorders in the newest generation.
And these are only the cases where we know it to be anxiety. For so many people, the condition goes undiagnosed, unspoken, or simply dismissed as stress, mood swings or even being sensitive.
There is the argument to be made that maybe we’re not more anxious, maybe we’re just more aware. The 21st century is possibly the first time in human history that mental burdens like anxiety, depression and such are not seen as faults to be hidden at all costs.
But for Gen Z, anxiety isn’t just a medical term or condition; it’s a part of their unique vocabulary, daily routines, and even their humor. They openly mention the previously unspeakable illness, laugh about it, and are in a way uncharacteristic throughout human history, quite casual about it. Our generation grew up more comfortable with mental health than any before it, for better, or for worse.
Why? Well they’ve lived through climate panic, economic instability, and a pandemic; all while being hyper-exposed to other people’s curated lives online. They’re constantly comparing, constantly connected, and constantly overstimulated. Even when they’re not doing anything, they’re under pressure to be doing something.
Speaking of being hyper-exposed.
Social Media: Easier Connections or Malformed Socializing?
Social media promised us connection, and boy does it deliver. But the product might not be exactly what we ordered (or what the ad told us the product would be).
What seems like connection in today’s digital world is more of an ‘artificial-izing’ of closeness. Reacting to stories, tagging friends in memes, these might feel like moments of actual connection, but really they are quite hollow. You’re “in touch” with everyone, but deeply connected with no one. Lonely, in the biggest crowd in human history.
Add to this the new rise of parasocial relationships; one-sided emotional attachments to individuals you’ve never even met in real life. They don’t even know who you are, but you treat them like your best friend, or even your love. Unrequited desires, feelings that are never resolved, anyone?
And then there’s the surge in performative behavior caused by everyone being a micro-influencer. Everything has to be an aesthetic. People are rewarded in connection points by creating and following a certain persona that is the cool thing to be right now, even if their real life doesn’t look like that at all.
This leads to the pressure to conform. And if your life varies even slightly from the trendy ideal, that leads to stress and fear of social isolation. You need to take that one selfie in that trending filter, or other people will think less of you.
Public Persona vs Private Pain
Maybe the most intriguing characteristic of the online generation, especially from the point of view of baby boomers or even millennial onlookers, is just how ‘out there’ we are. How every single aspect of our lives, every major thing there is to know about us, is publicly available online.
Our grandfathers had to stalk a girl for at least eight weeks to learn her middle name, and yet I know the names and faces of the entire extended family of one of my old classmates, just off of Instagram stories alone.
But does that mean I really know you?
See the thing is, there is such a thing as the online me. The character I create for people to know me as on online platforms. Depending on the person, this persona might differ a smidge from who they really are, or it might make them look like the next nobel prize laureate.
What this means is that what you see of me online, might be very different from how I am in the real world.
And you thought Ready Player One was just a 6/10 movie.
Here’s the thing: you might be posting aesthetic cafe shots, witty memes, or “study with me” reels publicly — but privately you’re stressed, worried and spiraling.
People online think you just go out every single night with your friends because you’re a social butterfly, but only you know that you do it because being around the fights and arguments always happening at home make you feel nauseous, make your heart pound and bring on the tears, so you stay away for as much time as you can each day.
In a world where I know more about you than ever before, we are less connected than we ever have been.
The Sad Part of a Society where Being in Pain is ‘Cool’
Young people today rebel against their elders, as is tradition. Whatever our parents did, we will do the opposite. It is maybe not surprising then that a big difference between Gen Z and their parents, especially in countries like Pakistan, is that they have made ‘cool’ everything that those who came before us would hide. Whether it be pain, illness, trauma; It’s all personality. And absolutely nothing is above a good joke.
My mother always scolded me whenever I made self-deprecating jokes, while my best friend believed it was the funniest thing I ever did. There is some indescribable power in reducing to clown fodder that which makes even the best of us fall to our knees.
But as with all things real and not idealistic, even this is a double-edged sword.
Anxiety, being something that ails people, has subsequently for Gen Z has become cool too. And what is cool is something all will try to be. Are you seeing where I’m going with this?
We already talked about performative behaviour online. So now everyone is ‘depressed’, everyone has ‘anxiety’. Unfortunately, the meta, cyclical, and blurry nature of the online persona means that if you talk online about your genuine anxiety issues, you might just be accused of jumping on the bandwagon. You’re just attempting to sound cool now. Sorry bud.
Therapy: A Novel Idea
So that’s the state of the word, but where are we with dealing with anxiety?
Well, the good news is that it’s no longer as taboo to talk about therapy as it used to be, well at least not online. Gen Z is the first generation where you don’t have to have a PhD to know what the terms trauma response, emotional regulation and coping mechanism mean. Thanks to instagram therapists, mental health podcasts, and self-aware influencers, mental health awareness is in the digital mainstream. So, hooray! Right?
Not exactly. While the conversation has grown, access remains highly limited.
The idea of going to a therapist still being relatively new means that the majority of practitioners are still only located in the big cities. So if you don’t live in Lahore, Karachi or Islamabad, good luck finding someone within easy reach.
The standard is also a big concern. As with all ‘emerging’ facilities, quality of care provided, and things like privacy, are always very difficult to guarantee at a desi psychologist without simply trying them out.
And let’s not forget of course about the price. In Pakistan, therapy sessions are sell a kidney levels of expensive, costing anywhere from three to eight thousand rupees per session depending on who and where you go to. Considering the normal ‘one session per week’ schedule, that’s a hefty chunk out of your monthly paycheck if you’re anything less than a trust-fund baby.
But What About the Culture?
All things aside, the biggest factor in limiting the spread of therapy in Pakistan and similar countries is the cultural hesitation. Talking to a stranger about the things happening in your brain still feels like a foreign thing to many families, who often see therapy as a Western Indulgence rather than legit medical care.
If it’s not that, it’s a sign that you’re ‘not being strong’, you just need to be brave, or think about something else. Who knows, you might even be fine after a good shower?
Bringing up your problems at home can feel like walking on eggshells. You’re either going to be met with anger, worry, dismissal, or just straight up silence.
So while Gen Z may be more aware than any generation before, that doesn’t necessarily always translate to action. Wanting help and getting help are very different things. For many, anxiety fills in this in-between space: where you know you need help, but you can’t reach it.
The Future
Yes, Gen Z is anxious, but they’re also emotionally intelligent, self-aware and quietly reshaping the narrative around mental health.
And they don’t just feel deeply, they share their feelings in the hope of creating a future that’s different. People across Pakistan are building what didn’t exist for them: peer support circles, storytelling platforms and community-based wellness spaces. Initiatives like talk2me.pk, Umang Pakistan and Pursukoon Zindagi all aim to create real, useful resources in the mental health space.
In addition, wellness clubs, psychology workshops and visits at universities and modern office spaces are lifelines started by people who never had any.
The culture is also shifting, though slowly. The narrative is moving from “sabar karo” to “madad karo”; from dismissing fears to understanding them; from staying silent to starting conversations. All being led by Gen Z.
And it’s a generation worth listening to. Though their courage is often quiet, hidden in memes, whispered in late night calls and reshares, or typed from anonymous accounts. They may feel alone, but they show up for each other. Whether it’s talking through breakdowns, re-centering a friend, or just sharing space, Gen Z is better at mental health than anyone before them.
So while the future isn’t anxiety-free, it’s definitely more emotionally connected. And in my mind, that’s a great start.
