How the Aesthetic of Healing Replaced the Actual Work

There’s a kind of healing that’s always camera-ready. It wears linen co-ords, drinks green smoothies, journals with pastel pens, and calls itself grounded. But lately, healing looks less like inner work and more like a lifestyle subscription. Something curated. Something bought.

There’s a sound bath scheduled between DJ sets. A yoga brunch with detox juices and drone shots. A “healing retreat” where tickets cost more than therapy ever did. It’s not grounding anymore. It’s branding.

And maybe that works for some. But what if your peace doesn’t look like that? What if it looks like calling your mother back? Or forgiving someone who never said sorry? Or sleeping through the night for the first time in months?

For some of us, healing isn’t aesthetic. It’s hard. It’s messy. With no witnesses. It’s not designed for Instagram stories. It happens quietly, on days when you don’t post at all.

Because when you’ve truly processed something, when you’ve faced the rot inside and moved through the pain instead of circling around it — you don’t need to narrate the war. You don’t cling to the story. You just live differently. No performance. No proof. Just life, with a little more softness in it.

But in this culture, healing has become a stage. Pain is sold. Reflection is merchandised. People stay publicly wounded because their past gives them presence. It’s not always healing. Sometimes it’s just repetition.

This isn’t to say your story doesn’t matter. It does. But you don’t owe anyone your pain on a loop. Healing is allowed to be private. Quiet. Just yours. You don’t need to prove healing by performing it. 

We’re teaching the next generation:

Healing = performance. 

“To be okay, you must look okay”

But true healing? It’s knowing how to take care of yourself — even when no one’s watching.  

So no, I don’t want to be part of the wellness performance. I don’t need to look put together to know I’ve grown. I don’t need crystals or detox teas or a co-ord set to prove I’m okay. If you’re tired of all of it, try something different.

Call a friend. Apologize. Let yourself be soft. Turn your phone off. Make daal. Forgive yourself. And move forward. Healing doesn’t need to be seen to be real. It just needs to be felt.