The Unholy Trinity of modern excuses: blaming the stars, mind and biology

‘I seemed rude because im a scorpio, we’re badass like that’ 

‘I am not confident enough because im an introvert’ 

‘dont take it personally, she’s PMS-ing’ 

Astrology was once a harmless amusement, a point of conversation, not an ethical system. Now it’s a ready-made alibi. We make fun of jealousy, since we are Scorpios, we are unchallengingly  emotional, since we are Aquarius..Then there is the biological turn. It is my hormones, people complain, as though estrogen or testosterone just took up their phones and messaged that passive-aggressive text.  

Today we have the facility to chart our hormonal cycles, have awareness of our mental state with vocabulary alien to our grandparents, and the availability of astrological birthcharts everywhere.  The intention of this unprecedented self-knowledge was to understand ourselves better; however, we have entered the age where our hormonal imbalances, astrology, and emotional diagnosis have replaced accountability. This ease of understanding has slowly turned into a culture of declaring ourselves an exception and abdicating the fundamental responsibility of being an adult because its always easier to put your worst choices and impulses simply on something cosmic or biological.  

The entire phenomenon does begin with a kernel of truth. Mental health struggles are absolutely real.  And yes, hormones also do impact the mood, but not the character. It is not an excuse, but it is explained by biology. When all the emotional variability is transformed into a scientific defense, then the  growth of a person will not be possible. Self-consciousness becomes self-absolution. The stars are now an easy scapegoat for bad manners.

It is not the issue of belief but how belief has transformed itself into resignation. In blaming the planets, you have already made up your mind that you are not going to change. We have started to overuse these terminologies to the extent of weaponization to justify our choices and worst impulses. Social media has provided everyone a crash course on psychology, but not on maturity.

The terms ‘triggered’, ‘toxic’, ‘boundaries’, and ‘validation’ are bandied about with the air of licensed therapists and the insight of a meme of a horoscope. We diagnose others with narcissism, identify ourselves as empathic, and refer to non-attachment as preserving our peace. In between TikTok and self-help threads, emotional vanity has made its way. 

‘I exploded because that triggered me! ’ The bad news is that your triggers are no one’s responsibility.  Your natural way to be as an adult is to cultivate the emotional strength to find your way in the world that will not and should not be sanitized to provide you with comfort. The goal is to learn how to swim in the ocean, rather than insisting that the sea be emptied. Phrases like ‘honey, your feelings are valid’, again, further deteriorate it all because sometimes feelings just are your intuitions and do not always pass. They are data, not directives. Emotions are often irrational and not always aligned with the actual reality. To make of every transition of feeling an irrevocable truth is to be a slave to your own transient chemistry. This has polluted the minds of our society. We are spouting robot phrases such as ‘toxic’, ‘gaslighting’, and ‘invalidated’ while emptying them of meaning. Within this sterile terrain, people are made to feel like they are expendable, this is not boundaries. Real boundaries are the walls which you put up to guard your garden, and not the walls which you set out to besiege another. They have to do with handling your exposure, not correcting other people on their flaws in understanding where ‘you’ are coming from.

So, what is the alternative? It is not about becoming cold and unfeeling, but rather about being strong and responsible. It is to have Radical Adult Responsibility. This critique is not intended to make the world colder, but rather to make it stronger and truer to itself. When we are not only the product of our constraints, but also ur agency, then we will be living in a world. The world does not have to give you a trigger-free, validating, perfectly accommodating world. It is not in reproaching your stars, your chemistry, or your past that you will have power. It is in the radical, humble, and powerful choice to accept responsibility to be the person that you have decided to be, here and now. The world is not indebted to you. Actual emotional power is that you are aware that you may have the wrong hormones, but you still apologize for being snappy. It is a realization of your nervousness, but not being a ghost. It is realizing that being oneself is not always a nice thing; at times, one needs to improve oneself. The stars may affect your mood, and your serotonin may drop, but neither of these will steer the ship. Life will serve untidy emotions and unjust conditions to you, and your reaction is the only thing that is yours. So Mercury did not regrade your text, your hormones did not initiate the quarrel, and your use of your mind did not make you cruel. That was all you. And that is good news, it is the best news, since it reveals that it can be changed because it was caused by you and didn’t just happen because of your condition.